HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
