We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
