Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
