come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there's paper in my vomit.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
