I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
