Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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