You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
