just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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