I didn't shave. On purpose
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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