Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
we're so committed to being not committed
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