I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
