Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
