Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
