Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
