I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
