you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
