My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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