hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
