you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
