the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
