well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She told me I should be a condom model.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
