I am spending my child support on dildos
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
