I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
