I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
