Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
