you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
