i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
