you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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