I can tuck mytits in my pants
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it's not cheating when I paid for it
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
