I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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