I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
