Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
