ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I had to cum in my sink.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
