No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
