Your mouth is God's brothel.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
