I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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