omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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