I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
