Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
