You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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