Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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