Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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