It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
