i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
