can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
