i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
