I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
