I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My vagina is officially offended.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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