The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Randomize