you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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