I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
