We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
