Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
