Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
