i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
